This is a very good visual example of how we repeat patterns: how our parents and our society teach us when we grow. How we repeat what we grew up with.
What we need to learn:
Is how to grow beyond the stories we repeat, and repeat.. and repeat through the generations. To make life our own instead of following the script handed down as your inheritance.
The challenge isn’t in what to say to others or how to present your life to others.
The challenge is not to get caught up in your story too deeply or the drama too tightly that you then forget that isn’t you to begin with.
We can release stories of abuse, of our past… stories which are not us, but of others that was deeply impressed into us.
In essence we are simple beings: it’s how we express ourselves when it gets complicated and once complicated we tend to lose ourselves to the stories as they grow out of control.
Stories are like cobwebs & dust in a old house. Every once in a while you need to clean them out and start fresh again. The simpler your house, the easier it is to remove the old stories out.
The House = You… Your roles, your past, your dreams, people’s memories of you, your own memories and expectations… those are all stories.
You truly do get to choose which stories to keep and which ones to dust out. Even how people remember or hold you you can be released… to live in new ways.
If you were to clean your “House“:
What would you dust out to begin anew? What stories would you release?
If you are a parent:
What stories do you want your children to inherit?
How to Handle Our Stories
Modern psychology is beginning to catch up to older practices like Taoism regarding our nature as a human being.
It’s important to understand a human being holds many stories. No one story represents full truth of one’s life. It’s how we learn to accept our stories and use them to become more than just a story that is critical in this process.
We teach how to live in the “now” in Taoism, that is: to come to terms with the one self. The self aware aspect of our consciousness in the present time is what our story telling self tends to bury. But Taoism also teaches how to understand and handle the story telling side of our nature. We live in more than the “now”. We also are taught in Taoism how to control our destiny and the stories that shape this destiny.
The melding of what Kahneman calls the “two selves” into a fuller self is a path well worth exploring, and one that Taoism teaches how to do in great detail: since it leads to one’s Personal Tao.
Taoism is in part a practice of story management. This is all about making one’s life an art of graceful living: mixing the present and the stories we accept as our nature. If you need help learning how to do this, contact Casey and he can start teaching you.