Here is a simple powerful secret on how to solve your problems and overcome challenges in life.
People make the mistake to think the solution to a major problem is to perform the right action.
Most of the time this isn’t true.
Here is the secret to solving problems.
The first step to solving any problem is to:
- In the pause you can see all the options in play.
- In the pause you can release fear!
- In the pause you can be patient to let various forces come to rest.
- In the pause you do not waste energy upon non essential actions.
- In the pause you allow others to catch up with new realities.
- In the pause you can set yourself up for the next action.
- In the pause you can sort through all the stories in play.
- In the pause you can power up…
Often times prayer itself is a form of pause, a chance to connect to the larger weave of life. I am more mindful & spiritual rather than religious in my practice of living but I have come to feel that pausing itself is my personal style of prayer.
The second step is NOT to do the wrong thing.
Lets face it: in the rush to fix things we often act in a reactive manner. So many times people will respond with incorrect actions at first that they think will be right. Many times in helping a student through their problems I will show them how ungraceful actions could create bigger problems. Often times doing the wrong thing will create a worse problem that can prevent any truly useful solution later. Pausing often stops a person from reacting in judgment or a harmful manner.
This doesn’t mean to sit back in fear and do nothing. Rather this means consider your options first before assuming you know the right answer. Please note: doing nothing is as bad as doing the wrong thing ironically. Doing nothing usually means the problem is getting worse and the situation is often creating additional problems to fix.
This process helps you avoid the trap of doing nothing. For instance pause isn’t a moment of doing nothing, rather pause is an active step of reviewing everything happening around you.
The third step is to act decisively but in a modest and simple manner.
Generally speaking there rarely is a perfect right solution to any one problem. Because as human beings, we are dealing with many stories, perspectives and complex inter-dependencies between the problem and you. This means the follow up of a solution usually goes sideways in unexpected manners. Most solutions come from a back and forth process of trying smaller solutions. Then over time evolving an answer that best works for the situation. So unless you know for sure your big leap is right for you usually as a rule smaller steps are easier to manage and then fix any mistakes that arise from your solution.
Side note: Yes at rarer moments a big leap is required but only do so when your heart, energy and faith backs that bigger leap answer or you have reviewed the more moderate options.
The fourth step is fix any minor problems and then go back to step one…
Again, every solution will come with a follow up problems. Don’t assume you will be perfect or your answer is bulletproof. Instead be ready to clean up after the answer is implemented in action. Learn lessons from the process and then pause again to make sure everything truly is in a better place.
I want to focus on the second step. I helped save a marriage earlier this week by helping two people simply by helping them not doing all the wrong things. By buying them time to grow and find their own inner strength. Then they were able to come back together with their own strength and actions to start the building of a new marriage.
This isn’t an easy path. People insist on rushing and acting in all the wrong ways.
People insist on healers fixing everything for them up front.
At times to be a healer means to hold a person back for a few moments, so they can get back on track later in life and be their own healers.
Try to pause a bit more often and hold oneself back from judgmental actions that will only will create conflict later in life.