We help many people move ahead more gracefully in life. Here are some common answers to relationship questions .
Relationship is about Connection
People confuse connection and attachment to be the same thing.
Don’t maintain a relationship out of habit or attachments to the past or other illusions. To do so just puts energy into a negative relationship that over time lashes out, breaks and causes pain.
Relationships should be based upon a positive connection. Where each person helps the other person become more (not a one sided relationship)…
- It isn’t the relationship we place into the heart
(to do so forces the relationship to become an attachment and forces your heart to break over time as your shapes change).
Place connection within the heart. That way, no matter how much time passes, no matter how many years apart or how you each drift… the connection can stay pure and true… and your relationships will always be timeless
Don’t Make Your Problems to be About the Relationship.
To push a problem into a relationship, is to inject the very thing that will break up the relationship later. This doesn’t mean you can’t share problems with your partner. Share away. Rather, this means you don’t project your personal issues, insecurity or current challenge into defining the relationship itself.
All too often I get the “Help me because they did this!!!” question.
Help me! He left me for another woman…, Help me! She is acting like a child… HELP me THEY… they they They!
It isn’t about “They” or “Them”
If this is you… (sorry to label you in a general pronoun sense) Then read on.
Your problem now has nothing to do with Them, It has everything to do with you.
You are making it about them, since they started the ball rolling and have defined the problem you must face: How do I now live?
Don’t you see the switch that happened when you allowed yourself to be defined by this other person? The situation has nothing to do about them: the problem is now all about how you will live from this point on! So while you are focusing on what initially caused the problem you are also busily and actively now ignoring your own life. The real question has only the word “I” in it no “them, him or her” in it at all. So how will you now live?
Look closely “They left me, should I wait?” -> is really -> “I am alone what should I do?”
Almost every question of this style of expression really flips into being: “What should I do now?”
Ask yourself can I survive on just waiting. Ask yourself is this really about them? The answer is no. NO! As you wait, as you linger, as you push out the problem to them… you slowly undercut and destroy your own life also.
Move ahead with living. They can always decide to catch back up later, but you can’t live in “later”. You have to live in the “here and now”.
So live. It has nothing to do with waiting: it has everything to do with living.