Here are some answers to common relationship questions.
How can I create a Lasting Relationship?
The simple answer is having respect, kindness and seeing yourpartner as being unique in life.
I have been with my partner for Years. How do I bring them back?
The simple answer is to change how you focus your measure of relationship success.
People confuse connection and attachment to be the same thing. When you talk about your relationship regarding how long you have been in it: then there is an attachment problem. The prize isn’t there for how long you were in a relationship. The prize is ongoing and is about being connected in the here and now. The degree of success can be measured by how well you keep a relationship invigorated and fresh for your future.
Don’t maintain a relationship out of habit or for attachments towards the past and other illusions. To do so just puts energy into a negative relationship that over time lashes out, breaks and causes pain.
Relationships should be based upon a positive connection. Where each person helps the other person become more (not a one-sided relationship).
- It isn’t the relationship we place into the heart
(to do so forces the relationship to become an attachment and forces your heart to break over time as your shapes change).
Place connection within the heart. That way, no matter how much time passes, no matter how many years apart or how you each drift… the connection can stay pure and true… and your relationships will always be timeless
My partner has a problem. How do I fix it?
Don’t make a relationship be about problems!
To push a problem into a relationship is to inject the very thing that will break up the relationship later. This doesn’t mean you can’t share problems with your partner. Share away. Rather, this means you don’t project your issues, insecurity or current challenge into defining the relationship itself.
All too often I get the “Help me because they did this!!!” question.
Help me! He left me for another woman. Help me! She is acting like a child… HELP me THEY… they they They!
It isn’t about “They” or “Them”
If this is you. (sorry to label you in a general pronoun sense) Then read on.
Your problem now has nothing to do with Them, It has everything to do with you.
You are making it about them since they started the ball rolling and have defined the problem you must face: How do I now live?
Don’t you see the switch that happened when you allowed yourself to be defined by this other person? The situation has nothing to do about them: the problem is now all about how you will live from this point on! So while you are focusing on what initially caused the problem, you’re also busily and actively now ignoring your own life. The real question has only the word “I” in it no “them, him or her” in it at all. So how will you now live?
Look closely “They left me, should I wait?” -> is really -> “I am alone what should I do?”
Almost every question of this style of expression flips into being: “What should I do now?”
Ask yourself can I survive on just waiting. Ask yourself if this really is about them? The answer is no. NO! As you wait, as you linger, as you push out the problem to them, you slowly undercut and destroy your own life also.
Move ahead with living. They can always decide to catch back up later, but you can’t live in “later”. You have to live in the “here and now”.
So live. It has nothing to do with waiting: it has everything to do with living.
Discover you don’t have to be alone, in figuring out how to improve your relationship.