Self help is about finding wholeness on your own terms. It’s an important part of any life as we each explore our personal answers to our day to day challenges.
The trick of self help is balancing out what we can do on our own and knowing when to get assistance of an extra hand.
Challenges of Self Help
The challenge of self help is sorting through the materials and resources around us. It isn’t easy to validate information and resources as we educate ourselves and work to solve our own problems. Even worse the modern self help industry, based on mass market economics, can be deeply exploitative in fooling people for profit. Looking around you will find too many spiritual pyramid schemes. In addition many self help routines are based upon consumption of healing. Anything overly consumed will turn in on itself and go sour. So yes it’s possible to over heal one self also.
Accept the pacing to healing.
It isn’t something to force.
Another trap is that the self help industry turns the innate desire to look inward to be outward. This makes your healing process to be about outside standards. When a person takes an outside baseline to be their baseline it sets a person to always be broken. Many self help routines cleverly rework enough concepts of “acceptance” into the practice to make them feel valid. Yet if you accept a wrong baseline as your centering point you will always be off center.
The other problem with self help, especially for those who help others, is it’s very easy to get trapped into yourself or false preaching.
While any path that helps a person discover acceptance in life is a valid path. It’s just many of pre-packaged self help teachings are more about reinforcing society or a process rather than really being about you. Life is wonderfully twisted enough as a puzzle without having to jump through other people’s ego trips.
Self Help Through Acceptance.
Lets talk about acceptance. Since many self help healing courses teach acceptance: Lets focus directly on the acceptance part of the equation.
- The past is just… the past.. long gone and passed on by.
- The future is not here yet…
- Taoism teaches you are here now, firmly in the moment: dancing from moment to moment. By embracing the ride of now, a person quickly learns: to let go of false attachments to past pains, learns building a future is just a way of deceiving oneself away from now… In this process of embracing life now… a person can let go enough to actually have a chance to see themselves truly in the now…
A strange thing happens at this point… a person discovers all the internal fractures once considered to be flaws and weaknesses… Are actually beautiful… That in the light of living now… all aspects of our life makes us what we are.. and that is wonderful. That what we thought needed healing actually can give us an edge to grow against in a patient manner.
That in living now.. all futures are possible: opening up new “Possibilities” of 10,000 dreams where each one is valid… and it’s fun to play about, to flow as life weaves together into something unexpected…. Because its always possible to accept who you are now.
- Is it an easy path to let go of the past?
… no… since being able to remember the past always gives hindsight to avoid issues.
- Is it an easy path to stop holding onto the future?
… no… since it’s by planning and slowly building with a good plan… humans have built so many marvelous wonders.
- Is it easy to accept oneself?.. no … not when so much strength can be gained through community: and in turn we are taught to base personal acceptance upon other viewpoints over our own personal values.
Initially as a Taoist you learn to let go of everything in order to see oneself clearly and to embrace oneself as is.
In time Acceptance comes, at the point of relaxing into oneself.
Later in this process a Taoist mixes together all aspects of themselves.. to truly live as oneself… this means being fully human. In harmony with the past and future to now.
Living with a Taoist outlook doesn’t mean to stop being yourself…
- It simply means to stop defining yourself to what you were.
- It simply means to stop defining yourself to what you might be.
- It simply means to accept yourself now… within your own terms.
To take all the whimsy, experiences and your nature to where ever it might lead.
One step at a time.
Having no illusions: since the dance of life comes both with hard days and easier times. The Taoist path takes it as it comes… One moment, one step, one breath at a time.
With this pace you can find your self help healing path.