Casey Insight #2: Buddhists strive to fully remove ego from the picture, as ego blocks the path towards Nirvana. This is for a good reason, as holding on to any story is the opposite of absolutely releasing into Nirvana.

I get the feeling I could leave you on the interstate,
I get the feeling like I just broke through.
I get the feeling like you never mattered anyway,
Something borrowed, something blue.
-Ben Lee : Something borrowed, something blue

The trap of ego is that, all too often, being human means losing ourselves to our stories, or, even worse, letting ego trap us in stories that no longer serve a graceful purpose.

We are not our stories; rather, stories are the vehicles we use to traverse society. You don’t really need a story to live alone in the jungle! Yet humans are social by nature, and ego evolved to help us form and maintain personal stories.

I must emphasize the simple truth: ego is part of our nature. As a sheepdog, it’s a partner within us, helping us herd our stories. Each story we keep serves a purpose; each story we release is a path we no longer need to walk.

Taoism, more than any other faith or philosophy, concentrates upon the relative nature of the self. Awakening Dragon Taoism both releases and embraces the ego to reveal a person’s full nature. The goal is not to silence the sheepdog forever, but to teach it when its voice serves your journey.

It’s human to explore our stories; it’s self to be present as your own person in a story. Ego exists to reinforce the self among all the stories you have, pulling through one narrative after another as the main character.

Casey Insight #3: In many stories, we truly don’t want to be the main character! It’s important to soften or hold back ego so we don’t become entangled in the wrong stories! Pick and choose carefully which stories you embrace as the main character, as you lose “self” when changing into “other” character roles that don’t match your essence!

A question to consider: How much time do you spend listening and following stories told by others, or sold by your culture? How much time do you spend in your own story?

In Taoism, we need to balance our answers in a Yin/Yang manner, and for ego, this means remembering the need for both your own story and shared stories.

Enlightenment & Ego

Strangely, all spiritual practices do teach you to release ego for a simple reason: enlightenment by definition is to release.

Ego by definition tries to hold on to all of your stories. So if you never release some of your stories in life, you never discover the bigger truths that don’t fit your current story of life.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
-Carl Jung

Traps and Issues of Ego

Ego helps us build powerful stories, and ego does keep track of your personal story. Without ego, a person would be more likely to lose themselves in other people’s stories. Yet ego has lots of problems associated with it! It can lash out, and it can hold us back. It often refuses to look at personal problems and instead pushes them onto other people.

Here is a quick sampling of issues that stem from ego.

One trap of ego is to trick a person into thinking that the light of truth shines only from them. So, for some people, the need to let go of their ego arises as they discover that the light is all around us.

• Ego often steals credit from others to make it your own.
• Ego often forces a person to do everything on their own, when in truth we are all together in the universe. The trouble is people often have stories that cause much pain and suffering. Ego makes the mistake of thinking you’re alone in your suffering.
• Ego can be a form of projection. Ego often takes projection too far, projecting outward in a fashion that takes people out of being their true nature.
• Sadly, too many souls lose their freedom chasing stories that no longer serve the heart but ego still embraces as a required truth.
• Ego tries to change the world to fit into your stories.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
– Rumi

Countless other ego issues exist, and no newsletter can capture it all. You can always contact Julie and me to help you craft your own personal relationship with ego.

Casey Insight #4: Ironically, ego will always make your challenge with ego to be uniquely yours.

How Do I Work with Ego?

I embrace the truth I am many stories: Casey, KC, Kenneth, Husband, Father, Teacher, Son, Me, and many more. Every seven years, the casey story changes as I age. The 60-year-old casey is not the 21-year-old casey. The name stays the same, but the person inside the story continues to grow.

28 year old Engineer Casey

I let other people add their input to all my stories except casey, which I protect with strong boundaries as my personal story. I let others have input in the KC story. This nuance makes me a more flexible person without losing touch with my essence.

Teacher Insight #5: Casey is the middle ground between casey and KC for others. While casey is the casey I am for myself, there is a difference. Ego will always try to capitalize your name.

I embrace each story as being equal. I don’t try to be everything all at once. I shift from one story to another to fit the situation I am in best. Over time, I discover new stories, and yes, it’s a struggle when you are building a new story in life. When I am confused or not sure what is best, I go into the crystal space, the space of neither holding nor releasing stories, but simply observing them. Then I meditate with dragon fire meditation to examine all the stories in play and better understand what is happening around me. Then I choose the story that best fits the moment and, if required, learn a new one to enrich my life.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
-Tao Te Ching

I don’t have a “core” story, but I probably spend the most time between being “me” (our core unidentified story), casey, and the Crystal Space.

Finally, being with ego takes a lot of energy, so I use it lightly. I bring out the sheepdog when I need a sheepdog, especially at times when there are lots of other sheepdogs in the room.

That’s my entire personal process.

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”
-Rumi

Sunset and Sunrise

As ego is all about a story, it forces a person towards a story’s ending.

Ego focuses on what I did.

Tao focuses on what will I do.

casey Insight #6: Walking into the sunset later becomes witnessing the sunrise. One story leads to the next. Ego traps people in old, decaying stories of only being in the sunset; Tao reminds us to open the doors to new, unknown stories.

When feeling down or stuck, one song I would listen to endlessly as a child is “And You and I”. I would use it to calm my core when feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. I consider it a very Taoist song. It’s not about trying to reason your way through life; it simply reminds us that life is a journey and that the destination becomes our experiences.

Emotion revealed as the ocean made
A clearer future, morning, evening, nights with you
And you and I climb, crossing the shapes of the morning
And you and I reach over the sun for the river
And you and I climb, clearer towards the movement
And you and I called over valleys of endless seas
-Yes : And You and I

From a Taoist perspective, ego is not an “I”; it’s actually one of the many “you’s” we encounter in life.

The ego asks: “Who am I?”
Tao responds: “Whoever you choose to become today.”
The ego says: “But the world needs my important stories.”
The Tao replies: “The world will move on, but the experience is yours to enjoy.”
The ego asks: “Where am I going then?”
The Tao answers: “On an endless journey.”

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving.”
– Tao Te Ching

Then, as a Taoist, a person realizes that style (your essence) matters as much as the story. We embrace kindness as the truth of seeing things as they are (in essence), rather than the story we wish to force everything into. And then finally, that a journey with kindness and playfulness is much more complete than a journey of chasing a wild sheepdog.

Final Teacher Insight #7: A final trap of ego is getting trapped to be alone in one story. Working with ego is part of a dance, and that is great because dancing with life partners is much more fun than walking alone, where ego is only one of many partners, our sheepdog, in life.

SheepCat?

Life is so much richer dancing with all the stories between You and I. May your journey be filled with wondrous stories worth keeping and the wisdom to release those that are not useful as life lessons.