Yesterday, we were at our monthly picnic. One friend spoke up:
“Casey, share an uplifting story for us!”
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Pausing, I felt no stories come up to share. Deep within me, I felt a desire to write a new story, one that focuses on my new life ahead.
I replied, “I have no stories to share because it’s time for us to evolve and write new stories, a time to focus on our actions. The story needs to emerge from those actions. The story is: Let’s evolve.”
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
-Carl Jung
Don’t get me wrong. At times, we listen to and retell old stories for comfort and remember those we love. Yet at times, it’s all about leaping into the future and making it your own with new stories.
“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
-Søren Kierkegaard
Casey Insight #1: Being passive in our older stories reinforces the past. Being proactive and creative in new story lines builds the future.
We often ask for stories to help us understand where we are, to gain inspiration for how to move forward. But the challenges of today are unlike those of the past, and old narratives can no longer carry us safely into the future. I have little patience for rehashing yesterday’s storylines. What matters now is authorship, the courage to create new stories through our actions, our kindness, and our imagination. The real question is this: What story will you choose to write for your future?
Casey Insight #2: Discover that society itself is a collective story. If we can change our own story, that is the start of helping change society itself.
In previous newsletters, I have provided tools to help navigate the world while crafting new life stories.
As we write our stories we will inevitably go through many drafts.
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”
-Anaïs Nin:
The beauty is that we don’t have to settle for just one story. Instead, we may iterate through experiences, drafting, revising, and rewriting our personal and collective narratives. With each draft, our stories can expand to be more inclusive, more kind, and more whole. Don’t approach your life story as if you only get one chance to write it out! We can step through many stories as we create our larger life story.
Exploring Wholeness in Your Story
Our stories often miss a critical element of being whole.
Wholeness has four parts.
- Living healthily.
- The act of living truly to your essence.
- Being in harmony with your community.
- Being in harmony with the larger world.
It’s easy to skip past one of these parts in your story, which then leave you feeling unsatisfied or empty later in life. In a consumer society, it’s easy to buy or consume excessively to fill in these missing pieces as a means of feeling whole. The act of consumption burns away whatever you consume, leaving you wanting more.
I see people try to approach wholeness as a destination. For example, to feel complete, they must do “X”! Yet wholeness isn’t a destination; instead, it is a proactive lifestyle all about connections and health. Wholeness emerges in the coming together of body, mind, relationships, and purpose. It’s not something to arrive at, but something we strive towards with day-to-day steps. Some days, it’s about taking care of your body; on others, it’s about nurturing a friendship or permitting yourself to rest. Over time, the weaving of these small acts becomes a vessel — a ship we call ‘Casey,’ ‘Julie,’ ‘Me,’ or ‘You’ — strong enough to carry us through the chaotic moments of life.
“You don’t listen to a song to get to the end of it, you listen to enjoy the song as a whole.”
-Alan W. Watts
Wholeness is experiencing the full song of our life. I am currently emphasizing the importance of taking the time to experience all of my life stories, rather than rushing through them. This approach of embracing wholeness is strengthening me in the unpredictability of our times.
Where to Begin
Maybe we don’t need a grand story right now. Maybe what we need are moments of wholeness, small steps that gradually build a new song of our life:
- Moments of Zen: times to pause, breathe, and heal ourselves. (For wholeness of mind and body)
- Moments of Kindness: choices that ripple outward, restoring hope in others. (For wholeness in our relationships)
- Moments of Creation: writing, building, and acting in ways that plant seeds for futures we may never see. (For wholeness in purpose)
Each moment is a verse in a larger story. Each choice is a note in the song of becoming… ourselves vibrantly rather than only living to survive.
You don’t have to wait for the perfect conditions to begin; every small choice you make today is already shaping the story of tomorrow. Whether it’s reaching out to a friend, practicing gratitude, or daring to speak up, these moments of choice become the paragraphs within your next chapter.
The invitation is simple: begin drafting your new story today, not by retelling the past, but by living forward into wholeness.
I look forward to sharing all of our future stories.
For fun, here is an Alan Watts audio about life being an experience and song.