Millennial Midlife Crisis


Welcome Millennials –
Time for Your Midlife Rocket Ride

Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996. This means congratulations!!! You are now closing on to 40 and entering your golden midlife crisis years. I am here as a Gen X Buster mongrel to pass on the midlife torch to the new generation.

It’s quite impressive to see the differences between each generation’s midlife experience.

  • Boomers feared midlife awakening, passing it off as a myth and sign of mental weakness. As a result, a Boomer’s midlife crisis was rife with late midlife affairs, depression, burnout, and profound life angst.
  • Busters, watching their parents meltdown, realized holy crap, midlife change was real. So Busters used midlife as an alarm clock as to when to change their life and explore the world. As a Buster, I redefined midlife crisis and made my life work to teach others how this was a time of Midlife Transformation.
  • Millennials are totally rocking midlife. In fact, they are deciding why wait? I have many younger Millennials students starting at 33 long before their midlife to rewire their entire life and prep themselves to make the most of midlife change. Prepping oneself in this manner means midlife becomes a turbo rocket to propel a person to greater achievements in their life.

I have found the Millennials crossing the line into midlife have been amazingly centered and slaying midlife awakening to their advantage. Millennials have embraced the opportunity to use midlife crisis as a training time for improving both their life and the world. The world might be in crisis around us, but that doesn’t mean to internalize the crisis around us, but to use spiritual kung fu to spin things to our advantage in life.

I came across this fun statement from Business Insider:

Millennials are the smartest, richest, and potentially longest living generation of all time.

The Boomers constantly attacked millennials because they feared the Millennials would steal their power base. AOC – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez  is a shining example of Millennial power. You can watch AOC go toe to toe against her Boomer counterparts to truly see the difference between the generations.

Now that Millennials are being turbocharged by midlife crisis, I truly see Millennials exploding into their power. Millennials are rebranding themselves as we speak, being Connectors, Sharers, and Innovators.

Hang on tight in this article. I will truly get back to you because I am proud of the Millennials, but first, let’s review the midlife crisis for Boomers and Gen Xers.

Quarter Life Crisis

Bye Bye Boomer

Ok Boomer, you are now well into your retirement years. Don’t dare to hold back the Millennials and take away their midlife transformation.

For Baby Boomers, midlife really got played out in the good old classic red sports car sort of midlife crisis. Well, Boomers, your turn of a midlife crisis was over 25 years ago. Broken marriages, burnout, lifestyles based on over-consuming and life angst was the end result of many Boomer midlife experiences. Your children don’t want an old fashion broken-down midlife crisis: consuming your way into happiness isn’t an option. Yes, Boomers, you ran the American dream down into a downright nightmare of racism, broken-down infrastructure, and debt. 2020 and beyond shows the Boomer path was a dead end.

Millennials don’t poke the Boomers, that’s the Buster’s job. We are running interference for you so you can focus on your own changes in life. Please don’t waste your precious midlife transformation energy to try to change the Boomer generation. Even worse do not try to get their validation since you will get gaslighted into thinking you are the problem.

Time to move past the boomer chapter of history. I don’t see anything of value to reclaim from the Boomer midlife crisis playbook for the future.

Harshmellow Truth: Millennials just ignore the Boomer storyline. The world they live in… is already gone.

Hey Fellow Gen Xer!

The last of our Buster ranks are passing the midlife crisis finishing line now.

We the busters, we’re closing up shop now. Our time of burning down the house and being pissed at Boomers is over. It’s no fun poking fun at geriatric climate refugees hiding out in their golf carts.

Let’s remember all the fun we had being the Scooby gang. We turned our Gen X Rage into ocean-side yoga and zen mountain retreats. I should know since I run a midlife retreat center next to a 60-foot waterfall, upon the world’s largest volcano in the middle of the deep blue Pacific. No Millennial wants to hear about moonlight hikes across the isle of Bali eating beads of wisdom from mass-market gurus. In fact, the island of Bali has been lost under a sea of plastic, so good luck even finding Bali again.

Midlife self-reflection & self-improvement also require midlife actions to improve your world!

Buster Rage

Julie and I spent much time teaching our generation to turn anger into a tool and solve problems.  All that pent-up rage against the Boomer consumer machine was wasted on the Boomers. Instead of turning anger into action, Busters turned anger into rage. I am sad to say that yes, the Busters are known as the Karen generation. Yep look it up fellow Gen Xer.

Fellow Busters, as we end our midlife golden age, take the time to re-channel energy to action. Millennials want you to join in the action of saving our world, but will walk away from you if you rant, rave or preach.

Modern Society doesn’t have time for rage. We have too many problems that just need to get fixed now. Yes, be angry, but use the anger to drive constructive actions that improve life and the world.

Millennial Midlife Advice

Millennials, you are the future and do step up to be in power. Let your midlife transition be about empowerment. All the normal advice for midlife still applies to your midlife transformation. Let’s look at the unique aspects that being a Millennial brings to the midlife stage.

Plan for Stages of Change

Midlife is not a one-off event. It plays out over a series of life events. Midlife is a genuine kick in the pants, energy-boosting moment of life.  The average person usually only focuses on one stage of midlife: the starting waking point. In fact, Midlife often happens in two stages. The first stage where you have fire ignite your pants, and you shift everything in your life. You get another booster stage 7 years later to refine and improve upon the changes you made from the first step.

I often use rocket booster stages as an analogy for my students. If you are trying to get into space, you need two rocket booster stages to get you into space. The first stage gets you up to speed and going in the right direction. The first stage gets released and removes dead weight. The second stage refines your course and finishes the job to get you to a destination.

When a mid-lifer tries to do everything in the first stage, it tends to make the process too overpowered, and you make big mistakes that hold you back later. If you approach midlife in a series of smaller stages, a person gets to fine-tune the experience, build infrastructure, create community and find resources that ultimately add up to a much better end destination. Much of midlife teachings are about pacing and helping a mid-lifer create the structures to support their new life.

However, if you want to get to the moon, you need a third stage to go all the way. Millennials are smart; they’ve watched, learned, and are ready to go further in life.

Many Millennials are contacting me before midlife to do a pre-stage process.

At 37 and before, it is very wise to do the following three pre-steps.

Find Your Words

I have a saying for my midlife students: It’s time to find your words.

In midlife, people discover life doesn’t match what they expected from society and school. Also, mid-lifers beginning to explore spirit discover they don’t have the words to convey the experience of connecting and being more.  Words fail to convey the expansiveness and new connections you make during your midlife experience. So often, a person goes through a long process of learning how to express their expanded experiences.

Taking the time to find your words before a midlife crisis will give you a more solid base to go further once you start your midlife awakening.

Take some time to expand your understanding of the world. A language is a tool we use to navigate life. Expanding our expressive capacity likewise expands our capacity to change later in life. Learning new practices such as martial arts, yoga, qi gong, and health techniques such as traditional Chinese medicine are some paths to expanding our words in life.

Find Your Essence

Essence represents our style in life. Julie and I help people be true to their essence. When a person lives in a manner that goes against their essence, they quickly find their life is a drag to live. Also, a person out of sync with their essence will discover that problems will continuously build up to hamper their life.

A person who takes the time to be in their essence before midlife discovers that midlife will be a smoother ride to experience.

Another benefit of being in your essence is that other people will not undercut you in work or politics.

Take Control of Your Own Story

The average person lives the plotlines they were given to live. The extraordinary person creates and walks their own story.

Midlife is all about waking up into your own story. It’s the time to make your life… yours. If you take control of your story before midlife awakening, then something interesting happens; all that energy you naturally obtain to break you free from society can be re-channeled into building a better world to live within.

Kicked to Curb Truth: Rage keeps a person stuck in the past. Millennials you have done a good job of calling out the busters on their rage. Yet, don’t poke at the Busters too much, since that will cause them to rage all the more in life. For those Busters you encounter who want to rage, well, just refocus their rage back to the Boomer clown show re-runs. We Busters are always happiest in our Scooby years of busting the boomer villain.

Rocket Fuel Additives: The future comes out from kind active steps propelled with a dash of anger for spice. But hold off on the rage.

Be Proactive, Not Reactive

When we react to an event or person, it means getting defined by what set off our reaction. Society is reacting to climate change rather than being proactive to go beyond climate change. As society gets more and more reactive to climate change, social infrastructure will only continue to breakdown. Being reactive, while cheap, isn’t ultimately a long-term solution to the world’s problems. In times of great change, the winners both evolve and create new structures for new times.

The reason Millennials are the smartest, richest, and potentially longest-living generation of all time comes from them being proactive against the times.

Continue to be proactive and building solutions rather than living to compromises that undercut life.

Don’t Focus on the Past.

At this point in history, we don’t have time for history. It’s a move ahead and let’s make history sort of time.


“The schools we go to are reflections of the society that created them. Nobody is going to give you the education you need to overthrow them. Nobody is going to teach you your true history, teach you your true heroes, if they know that that knowledge will help set you free.” – Assata Shakur

You have been taught all the words and given all the tools to keep a broken system limping along rather than grow. You have never been taught how to create something new. You will have to find a new path and new tools to build the world ahead. Find new words to express an expanded world. Be proactive enough to build new community structures.

The future hasn’t been written yet. Rather we walk into it and make it ours. Others later will write it as history; it will be your actions and steps that make it real in the now.

So I will leave you off with this song and these lyrics:

But lately I’m beginning to find
That I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings
I’ll be there…


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I thought midlife crisis applied to me as a Gen Xer mid-40s. But I guess I’m too old. I mean I know I’m too old for most anything good in life, but too old even for a midlife crisis, man how pathetic is that. I guess I’ll just continue wondering why we live so long, when I just wish this pointless wasted life would just end already.

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