What is anger?

Anger serves a purpose to release deeper issues, problems, and internal conflict. It’s a pressure release valve. Since from the body’s perspective: it’s better to release anger than to turn it around to destroy oneself.

However, anger is not very efficient, and it’s the last step/tool in a person’s automatic release options. Suppressing anger is self-destructive, as the negative energy redirects directly into your body. Anger is a path of destruction. Anger’s purpose is to destroy problems.

How does one heal anger? The true key is awareness of one’s inner self. Understand the root of anger is about releasing problems. It’s better to release problems in other more efficient and less damaging manners. So resolving anger means developing habits that release internal conflict in constructive manners before it can release as rage.

I had a teacher who taught me all about anger. My father was a wonderful soul, yet his one weakness was his rage. He let rage control, diminish and then destroy his life. He showed me time and time again, to release with rage, always results in negative feedback from the rest of the world: which in turn would cause him more harm.

The lesson was very clear:

The world always reflects your actions. If you lash out in rage, then the world lashes back at you with that same anger causing pain/grief that still has to get resolved.

Once your anger gets stirred up, there is no true “release” except resolution.

Lashing out with anger is an inefficient attempt to resolve or make a problem go away.

Anger

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Resolving Anger

To lash out in rage is to still lash out at yourself, creating problems that will require healing.

So if you have anger:

  1. Don’t hold it in.
  2. Don’t release it as pain.
  3. Release it as acceptance.

Now acceptance has many levels since as you practice acceptance, you can release the anger long before it even boils up to become anger.

Long before anger: look towards your feelings, find the internal conflict (or external) and work towards acceptance. Taoism teaches peace is the true warrior’s path. The sword while an option is never used with anger or you have lost from the start.

Firstly: Don’t remove all aspects of anger out of one’s life, it does serve some useful purposes. More importantly, at times you need some anger when dealing with other people. Occasionally you need to reflect anger with anger. For example, anger is used at times as communication. Look at the wolf snarl above; it isn’t anger as an action, it’s a statement of communication to indicate position. The wolf is saying: “I am willing to fight to retain my place.” The wolf doesn’t want to fight; in fact, it’s trying to release the need to fight, with its snarl.

However, I teach that 80 to 90% of anger is wasteful.

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Releasing Anger
Releasing Anger - Understanding Anger

Basic Techniques to Resolve Anger

In looking for answers, you will discover many different anger management tools. Julie and I focus on the teachings that balance a student closer to their essence. This allows a person to find both a stronger internal baseline and a calmer perspective to work against life’s challenges. Here is a simple introduction to some of our teachings that a person can use to attain more refined control of their actions and finally resolve their anger.

Here are the steps for dealing with that feeling of anger.

Step one:

  1. Take a breath, and just feel it.
  2. Look at it, don’t try to answer it, just look at it.
  3. Accept it, and then release it as a long exhale.
  4. Imagine it going into the earth as compost.
  5. With your arms sweep it away: Literally, use your arm like a sword to cut through the feelings of anger to say I see the anger: and it is as it was.

We maintain a lot of energy to hold onto the past: the past is just reflection of what we think happened. In the now, it’s gone, and only a memory. Memories are no longer truth, but rather guidelines. It is as it was. Release the issue as most anger is a lie that people use to project and keep the past alive in the now. But doing so is a form of delusion: 80 to 90% of anger is based upon lies! Why give up your power to such lies? A Taoist as a result just releases anger without fuss. Simply brushes it away as a lie and anger on its own has no power at all, except any power we give it to make it real.

In this example, the answer is a process of releasing both the past and any twisted thoughts that got entangled in that past.

This technique also ties into breathing techniques. Yes, letting go of anger in some cases can be as simple as releasing a breath! Breath management is used quite a bit since our thoughts flow against our breath. So by breathing with a deeper awareness, it becomes possible to release the thoughts which are stirring up the anger in the first place.

For a Taoist, this fact resolves 75% of anger issues. However, when your anger is based on painful personal truth, then we must look at the issues that need to be addressed and work a bit deeper.

Step Two:

After looking at the anger: then look closely.

  • If it’s a problem you can resolve now, then do so now. No lingering excuses or apologies. Be decisive, apologize once and only once if needed, make your amends and just move on quickly and quietly.
  • If it’s something you feel guilt over: then forgive yourself!
    Be giving to others in repentance for three to five times to put forth kindness in the balance of the adverse actions. But only a few times. Your life is never an apology, rather in kindness, our actions are about now, not filling in the past. As I said before: the past is just that: past gone!
  • If it cannot be resolved right away: then let it go. Instead, resolve other smaller problems and be happy with that. Chip away at the anger in small resolutions/actions that over time will undercut the larger anger issue naturally.

You will be surprised how fast these techniques can help you resolve anger.

However, you have to be willing to release.

If you hold firm to “the past”, “expectations”, “lies”, “issues” : then it will be a long road in the release, and often your anger will follow destructive means to create the release needed to occur.

In coming across a person who takes this long road, you let them travel and go your way. Every person makes their path. Respect other people’s choices even the bad ones, since they are working on issues. The reason is that often anger is Karmic. You have to let a person work out Karma naturally and first hand, otherwise you just prolong their negative Karma.

Anger is a Karmic emotion when you lash out in pain; you inflict negative Karma upon yourself and others around you. Pain inflicted thru anger takes time, and active consideration of the people involved to release. As a result be respectful of those working with anger issues, Karma is a powerful beast, and the only way to tame it is: with respect, time and acceptance.

Soul Work

Healing Your Soul

Additional Anger and Emotional Support Materials

For Assistance Releasing Anger

Julie and I teach from a wide collection of tools that will help you find peace and release anger. Often addressing deeper truths require outside assistance to gain new angles that resolve out the internal conflict a person is holding. We teach you how to release judgments that hold you back and then flare up later in rage. We work with Taoist and shamanic tools that add in a grounded spiritual component to anger management.

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1 (808) 445-9864 USA

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Mitzy

Wow where to begin , I grew up in a very abusive home where my dad made me feel very little of myself , now I’m 27 and I have a 7 year old but lately my anger has been taking control over me and I can’t seem to make it stop. I’ve suffered from anxiety since he was 2 but now that he’s older I feel my anxiety has been at its worse. Last year I was on fluoxetine but I didn’t like the way the medecine made me feel. This year I feel my anxiety is back but… Read more »

Vicky

It’s IED intermittent explosive disorder. It’s genetic. I have studied this from Library books. Estimates vary between 4% to 20% of people have it. It was first discovered in the U.S. during W.W. 2 and was called Anger Disorder. Recent researchers can now detect this in children and brain scams confirm they have different brains. In the 1800’s Doctors gave angry people Magnesium.

Donna

Sorry for that length. You can see it was fresh. Do you have a fb site we can follow you, or somewhere else? You are hitting the core of things that are going on globally.

Donna

I got my answer. I heard your video and it spoke deeply to me about empaths, healing, helping people when they are not ready to be helped. That’s me. I’ve been called very sensitive, intuitive, a medium, capable of healing, and even my Teacher in 1970 said I would help people, unravel the mysteries of life, but because I don’t fit in, I don’t believe I am of value. I am being made more sensitive. I am supposed to be helping people, but I have to first get something healed and off medications to come into what it is I… Read more »

Donna

wow, this is a great site/blog you made. The world is full of anger and stress right now. I am a very sensitive person, I am told. I am going along fine, then many frustrating situations come up that “aren’t fair” or I have the expectation that life should be different, people shouldn’t be rude. I find myself more often frustrated by systems and people that are rude and stressed in our congested area, and it is nearly impossible to accept and leave it alone, as it begins. For instance, my heater wasn’t delivered when I was home, I am… Read more »

Emma

I’ve experienced depression, anxiety and now anger, which arrives often in the middle of the night, where I can’t get to sleep or I wake up and can’t return to sleep. I say anger, but infact it arrives as anxiety but I think it’s anger that has been suppressed . I want to be able to sleep, release my anger freely, without it being destructive to others or myself. I find mediation can be a great leveller, but I fear that it adds to the suppression of feelings, rather than dealing with new, unexpressed feelings.

Judith

I can’t believe that I stumbled on this page. I have taken medication for years to stabilize my emotions. Now, at 49 I am off them and realize that I have so much anger…it is mostly directed at my husband and my mother…two of whom claim to love me the most. I want to be free of all this. I am a mother of three and work full time but all I want to do is to be free from the influences and actions of others. I have also been facing work place negativity that will actually end in only… Read more »

Mary

I grew up in an extremely broken and fragmented home. Having had an abusive mother and a neglectful father, I hold so much contempt and anger in my heart today. How can you find the peace within youself, and release all the accumulated anger and pain that has originiated from your most fundamental relationships: parents. Sure, the past is gone. But why are its effects lingering on today. These relationships have made me so distrustful of everyone. I have shut everyone out of my life and have deprived myself of what I truly crave: peace, happiness, and love. Is there… Read more »

Jennine

I lost my father a year ago, during his short illness my sister became very controling in turn caused a big family argument. When my father passed my sister and I both said things we probably shouldn’t have and I have since stopped talking to her. I feel so much anger and resentment over the way she behaved. For my sake I need to be able to deal with these feelings I carry. I struggle to forgive, I keep coming back to anger. I know I need to deal with my feelings then make contact with her just to put… Read more »

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