What is anger?
Anger serves a purpose to release deeper issues, problems and internal conflict. It’s a pressure release valve. Since from the body’s perspective: it’s better to release anger than to turn it around to destroy oneself.
However, anger is not very efficient and it’s the last step/tool in a person’s automatic release options. Suppressing anger is self destructive, as the negative energy redirects directly into your body. Anger is a path of destruction. Anger’s purpose is to destroy problems.
How does one heal anger? The true key is awareness of one’s inner self. Understand the root of anger is about releasing problems. It’s better to release problems in other more efficient and less damaging manners. So resolving anger means developing habits that release internal conflict in constructive manners before it can release as rage.
I had a teacher who taught me all about anger. My father was a wonderful soul, yet his one weakness was rage. He let rage control, diminish and then destroy his life. He showed me time and time again, to release with rage, always results in negative feedback from the rest of the world: which in turn would cause him more harm.
The lesson was very clear:
The world always reflects your actions. If you lash out in rage, then the world lashes back at you with that same anger causing pain/grief that still has to get resolved.
Once your anger gets stirred up, there is no true “release” except resolution.
Lashing out with anger is an inefficient attempt to resolve or make a problem go away.
The Key: Resolution
To lash out in rage is to still lash out at yourself, creating problems that will require healing.
So if you have anger
- Don’t hold it in.
- Don’t release it as pain.
- Release it as acceptance.
Now acceptance has many levels, since as you practice acceptance, you can release the anger long before it even boils up to become anger.
Long before anger: look towards your feelings, find the internal conflict (or external) and work towards acceptance. Taoism teaches peace is the true warrior’s path. The sword while an option is never used with anger or you have lost from the start.
Firstly: Don’t remove all aspects of anger out of one’s life, it does serve some useful purposes. More importantly at times you need some anger when dealing with other people. Occasionally you need to reflect anger with anger. Since anger is used at times as communication. Look at the wolf snarl above, it isn’t anger as action, it’s a statement of communication to indicate position. The wolf is saying: “I am willing to fight to retain my place.” The wolf doesn’t want to fight, in fact its trying to release the need to fight, with its snarl.
However, having said that, I teach that 80 to 90% of anger is wasteful.