What is Judgement?
Judgment is measuring something and then not allowing the measurement to change. The way society measures something is often very different than how individuals measure life.
A person uses judgment as a fast way to sort through options and to make choices without thinking.
Societies use systems of judgment to maintain “order” and a balance between its membership. Judgment is all about measuring what is right and what is wrong to keep those with power in power.
Judgement vs. Judgment
Judgement has two spellings. It doesn’t matter which one you use. Judgment is in more common use. To practice releasing judgement, I will freely use both spellings, as in judgment, people will insist on only using one version.
Releasing Judgment isn’t easy. We measure ourselves all the time. Most especially to time.
You see time represents relationship and relationship is just filled with all sorts of measurements. So it doesn’t take much before a person is judging everything as you compare time and relationships.
A Taoist’s Measure of Man is to Release Judgment.
The only true measure of life is not to measure it at all, but rather to simply live it fully.
Releasing Judgment… Discovering the Power of Personal Opinion.
What is the issue about judgment?
Judgment allows no true change.
Without change, we lose our spark of individuality and uniqueness in the world.
The trouble with judgment as a way to measure oneself, it limits how much change can enter one’s life. Worse once a person begins to judge their life, it forces them to push their judgments outward, to judge other people’s lives to maintain the balance of their judicial system. Judgement forces everyone to have all the same answers to life. Once a person makes a judgment, they very rarely take it back, and then often only under great pressure and conflict.
Judgmental individuals very rarely have inner peace, since judgment produces a busy schedule trying to force placation of the outside world to personal measurements. The process of pushing one’s truths and beliefs onto others is the attempt to maintain personal balance. A judgmental person must always defend oneself against outside changes. Many judgmental individuals are too busy attacking others even to notice they lack inner peace until they slow down. Because of this they rarely do slow down, they continuously work to ignore the many problems of their lifestyle.
So how does one live without judgment? Embrace your opinion!
One truth is: Opinions are not judgment, that it’s OK to have many opinions!
Opinions by nature do change! Opinions are your personal feelings on an issue or situation at a given moment. As we age, a person discovers more information which will be used to shift your opinion to include the new facts. When opinions are not allowed to change over time, they slowly harden, a person shifts into becoming opinionated and this is the edge when they begin to hold to their opinions as if they were the truth. Once holding your view as the only truth it means your opinionated outlook has calcified into judgment. Once opinions have mutated into judgments, it’s tough for a person to change their views and actions. In western culture, the trend is to push opinions into becoming judgments, and that is the terrible mistake most people make.
In a judgmental culture, opinionated people are view upon as the trouble makers. Personal opinions are also the seeds for revolution.
Judgments are measurements that we don’t allow to change easily. Opinions, however, are small snapshots of time, of looking at the world but snapshots that are allowed to freely change as we discover new information, as we expand our awareness.
To learn how to live without judgment is to learn how to appreciate and respect opinions, yours and others. To use opinions to test and explore the world with but never to measure the world either.
Judgment always contains the seeds of its issues. No human judgment system can be perfect. When perfect, it would mean no free will could exist. When perfect, there would be no questions, no grey areas, no wrong actions, merely only always right actions. Being human by default, exploring the nature of being a story… means making mistakes and being able to fumble around a bit. Seemingly a perfect judgment system is for ants, bees, termites, and robots. Let’s hope, we never witness humanity becoming too trapped by its judgment systems, and yes modern humanity is at risk of being trapped by codified judgment systems.
To be judgmental is to live life to a very defined set of rules with effectively limited (or no free will) choices. To live in this manner means to limit one’s potential and to live in a manner that reduces one’s graceful possible actions. Very few people like to be “judged” since to be judged is often to be measured by an outside set of rules. People only willingly accept judgment from others if we believe they support the same values we base our life upon.
Ask yourself how many people would you truly accept to judge your own life?
I suspect the answer is not many and more interestingly you probably would also accept judgment from those people that would be considered “non-judgmental” to get the least biased result! How ironic is that?
Release the Need for Absolute Answers
Not every question should have an answer.
The simple truth is that people hold judgments to pre-answer how they should react to life. Many of these judgments were formed thousands of years ago by people in different situations and needs. Judgement is a tricky, sticky beast; it will linger for countless generations in the form of prejudice.
In Awakening Dragon Taoism we teach. We hold each person’s story as theirs to explore. We do not try to force another person to some ideal we hold for ourselves.
If you hold the need to have answers before you even talk to another person. This will create conflict in the form of prejudice.
So a very simple teaching is this: Not every question should have an answer.
For an example of this in action lets look at Taoism’s view on homosexuality.
The Trap of Measuring Time
Calendars and schedules are such amazing traps. Useful and powerful tools yes, but in defining your day precisely to a schedule how far away are then the judgments that come in the wake of your schedules that don’t meet expectations or precision of flow?
So how often do you judge your day by the calendar’s events and then the following entanglements that fall out of failed meetings or events?
Discovering stories of our life
Our life is a grand story.
Judgment pre-supposes it’s possible to have an absolute truth to base life upon facts that are measurable to social settings and interactions.
In practical day to day living, however, this is not the case. Truth is never what we hold it to be. Truth is merely a fable that more than one person will vouch for as being part of their life.
To hold onto a truth require us to maintain the boundaries of what is false. The two (truth & falseness) define each other. The big mistake is to think that most truths can be absolute. The only truth which is absolute is that the undefined can never be fully defined. All other truths are partial truths, statements mixed with perceptions, assumptions from the models of the world and our stories.
People often use memories to define truth, but all memories are merely stories also: perceptions of what was, held as a fact but doomed to fade and shift over time.
A Memory is never a fact!
A memory is always perception and story
No matter how closely it might resemble fact.
No matter how true it may be,
and oh boy do we hold to memories as truth…
Part of releasing judgment
is learning to release one’s own memories,
to hold memories as stories over fact.
The second we hold onto a truth as a final measurement of our life, we begin to erode away. As all truth begins to fade over time, so a person will slowly fade away, once they base a life upon that truth.
It’s better to understand everything held within life, is technically really a story. In every story, there are elements of truth and elements of falseness. Bits of color to make the story more fun to be around.
The most important aspect of truth .. or a story… is not the facts per say, but rather what we take from the story to improve our life. The tangible goal is improving our life to be more colorful, to help us find potential and enabling our actions to flow with style. Once we understand this, truth releases fully to the realm of human stories that help us navigate life with greater grace. To only hold truth as merely a fact, creates all sorts of confusion, upon discovering 99% of the facts of life were based upon… stories themselves.
Truth contains fact to fantasy, tidbits of tales, a mash of events and day dreams all. In other words, the common denominator of truth are not the facts, but rather our stories on how we present those facts.
How do you know what parts of truth are true and what parts are not?
It’s best to hold truth lightly, hold facts fleetingly, so it’s possible to shift as you discover more in life. If you hold to a fact with an iron grip, your life will rust away, and you will be left in the dust.
Part of releasing judgment is to discover how to embrace the stories of your life, allowing for many stories to co-exist with each other in harmony. To try to only hold a single story, in the end, is no different than living to judgment.
Even facts are not absolute truth. Facts are stories based on models, rather than personal tales or memories. The weakness of Fact, comes from the idea they are static. This forces the models under the facts to become static and then later the facts fall to disproof or disuse over time, Stories evolve over time to become ever-changing pictures of who we enjoy being. Stories are allowed to change to last. Facts are either forgotten or become erroneous with newer information. The truth is even facts evolve over time, our inner models needing to shift, as a story over time to survive.
Science and facts always have their place, but now understand that even science is 1 part story of 1 part fact.
Don’t measure life to our stories, rather use the stories like stepping stones to move with our life as it evolves.
The danger of measuring man
A fundamental problem of a judgmental consumer society is this:
To judge a person is to measure them.
That act of measurement literally in a consumer setting
turns another person into a commodity by your judgment.
Once a person has been measured, AND the society assigns economic values to a person and their life actions. That reduces what a person does down to only economic choices in their life. This removes personal development or other measurement choices. Consumer profit based judgment, in the end, removes kindness as a life measurement and without kindness, a person loses their essence.
In this, we discover how humanity has
trivialized its existence
down to economic terms.
In a “for profit based society”, it means always to cut costs to maximize profits. In the end, it’s our humanity that gets cut out of the picture early in the process.
The current capitalistic economic system will burn out the planet for this one single reason.
Because once we stop caring for ourselves, we stop caring for the place we live within also.
You can argue this point till becoming blue in the face, but…
Right now we are witnessing the destruction of our very planet…
All only because we judge ourselves, and this society only judges itself to profits…
Arguing does nothing to solve this problem. Releasing both Judgement and a cash profit attitude will shift the situation back towards kindness and balance.
This can change. Bolivia is taking the first step with its Mother Earth Bill. We need to begin expanding this to become the benchmark around the world.
Judgment in Language
Judgment is a hard process to release, in part because it’s built into the very language we use.
Right / Wrong
Better / Worse
Positive / Negative
Many of the very words we use have judgment within them or implied within them. This can make it hard to communicate in a non-judgmental way. Even when making a statement with no implied judgment in it, the words themselves could often be taken times in a judgmental manner by the listener.
When working with a person and issues exist in the situation, it’s important to approach the conversation with acceptance towards the other person and mitigate the use of judgmental language. Don’t be afraid to change words when they elicit a judgmental response.
Additionally, many of the expected behaviors we have also can contain implied judgment within them.
A great example is asking for forgiveness or giving forgiveness. Forgiveness implies something wrong was done. It’s better to accept a person over forgiving them. Likewise to say you are sorry, implies you have done something wrong. It’s perfectly acceptable to apologize once, but never over apologize or over use the word: sorry. To do so simply implies you are guilty and then others will treat you with judgment as a result.
And it comes back around to this…
Take a moment to deeply consider this, because it is part of the lesson:
I could create pages and pages more of material on judgment; human history is full of examples to learn upon. However, I have to leave many questions unanswered on purpose: to help free you from judgment.
How will you finish this? It isn’t for me to complete this lesson of your life.
It’s time to release judgment and a time to live a life based on what is at hand in your life now.
We work over the phone and also offer couple retreats!