Connection, Angst, Disconnection and Detachment

Personal Tao
Chapter 4

Connect the dots…

A strong desire exists for people to find connections. This, in turn, becomes patterns, literature, and music. Think about music for a moment, in life, like life.

The moments are notes
Strung together, this becomes a song of life
Our consciousness the melody
The tempo is the heart beating.

As an aside, it could be said:
The 20th-century tempo has been replaced by alarms and seconds of a time clock.
compared to the previous clock of the farmer’s seasons
compared to the previous clock of various tides
compared to the previous clock of…
Seemingly always a clock somewhere

Melody is a rhythmic succession or arrangement of sound: similarly, our life is a rhythmic succession or arrangement of moments. Humans love melody since humans can flow with the melody. The melody’s very nature permits reflective discovery. Similarly: if life can be considered to be a melody, it becomes possible to self-discover and harmonize with our own lives.

The problem with this analogy: many people try too hard. It’s tempting to treat life as sheet music: looking for the notes to be handed to us, to be read. Rather, we must be receptive, listening to our lives. Over time, it becomes possible to learn various patterns of our nature. Relax, don’t “over anticipate”. The song of life is about change. In time, with time, learn to flow with your song1 as it happens.

The first step: learn to accept the individual notes of life a moment at a time.

1) Much like improv Jazz

Notes from my journal…

  • A single dot:

At times you have to hold onto sorrow
as if it were the only thing.
At times you have to release song
as it becomes all you are.

  • A Single Dot

Jasmine scent, sneaks underneath summer heat.

Summer heat not too thick
thick enough to feel fingers
slightly sweaty fingers
conducting across moist glistening skin.

First day of summer.
What note, tempo, beat, harmonic
is worth reaching for: under a siesta sun?

Leading back to chords of Jasmine
Tying scents of rhapsody
Not all music is of melody.

  • A single dot:

Overhearing a conversation, she said:
“I can’t have anything without faith, but I can’t have faith without anything.”

  • A single dot:

Another style of discovery is to explore the opposite side of one’s nature.

If it’s in our nature to be a pattern, to connect the dots, then flip this around. Stand disconnected for a moment. Do nothing, or the unexpected… relax into being truly different to uncover your own nature.

  • A single long dot:

Time, this is a time:

Where mindless machines are built, to scour the heavens, touch the planets, fueling dreams of those wishing to reach the stars. While humanity touches the dead gods with machines of steel and gold. Robotic eyes are spinning around fleet Mercury, or probes to prod the Titan of Saturn.

Where philosophers and magicians rely on sleight of hand showing those sleeping that “Magic” still exists. While scientists practice another slight of hand to permit horses to birth a zebra, genetically paint day-glo / glow-in-the-dark tropical fish and dream of bringing to life dinosaurs from the stones of fossils.

… It’s hard not to connect the dots at times …
… As connections just appear out of nowhere…

Did you know one day we will resurrect Ludwig van Beethoven? As he translated his soul into music, a day will come when science might “reverse-engineer” him from those very same notes.

Where religion anchors souls down on the ground rather than in flight

Stained glass bleeds light down, down as
blurred colors brushed against gray pillars to heaven

Which is the path?
one to the altar
one back up within rays of light

While candle flames lift to the sky
blessings as landing pads to saints
coming back down to those tied to earth.
The smell of mothballs comes forth from the opening of a holy book
like my mother’s Greek Orthodox mother’s linen closet
yet now issuing out from the church altar.
How many souls flew too high?
Fumigated back down by the vapors of spoken words?

It’s a time not different from any other point in human history: we are still very human. Still human despite attempts to digitize law and force behavior to match legislation written in zeros and ones.

  • A single dot:

Imagine sitting down, beside an old maple tree.
With eyes closed:
Feel dappled sunlight, dancing on the skin,
Leaves eclipse stray beams
as shadows tango to the light across the body.
Listen to leaves whisper…
joy as the wind tussles them
into the air.
Smile as branches complain
in creaking strains
as younger leaves bounce in play.

Dots, Dots, Dots…

… Capture a dot, enwrite a moment on this page …

Did you get stuck on the word enwrite?

Give it meaning by capturing a moment later.

Everything laid within these pages are simply dots, specks of writing. Some of which, a reader will connect to personal experience. Others are free-flowing, possibly to remain only as distinct questions or memories.


The path here is simple: In life, moments will gather. Don’t overly worry about connections. When a moment is just a moment, live it bracingly while letting it pass. Not everything needs to be connected into a larger meaning. Many experiences are best left alone. If the moment calls to be connected, then the overall balance of the world will make it clear to you without fuss.

It’s always tempting to frame life within arbitrary points.


Transform such points into stepping stones,
revealing larger patterns beyond personal restrictions.

Leaving the Book and Back to the Site

Being Careful With How You Connect

Stories so many stories, while you don’t judge people on their stories, you should also always trust your instincts. Accept and trust your gut feelings since not everyone will have your interests in mind with kindness.

Understand that being kind, doesn’t mean you have to let every stranger into your heart. We never judge others but to balance that out; it’s only when you feel a true connection, an honest, natural connection, you move ahead and embrace another soul.

Many people will try to force connection. When another person forces themselves towards you then move on. Likewise, it is a bad sign when you are trying to force connection.

Connection to be true: should be natural and without edges, without boundaries nor being forced to be connected.

Dropping judgment doesn’t mean losing common sense. We can remove judgment by in part heightening your common sense with awareness. How to feel the tenor of each connection and only move on with a connection if you feel harmony within that connection.

Connection, Secrets, and Wholeness

As a reader, many reasons might exist to why you stopped by. I would take a moment to summarize all the various reasons to be this:


This is all a process of connection and playing about for our best fit.

We each have the good days and the bad days in how our life flows together. We have special spots we go to to find solace or rest, and other spots to excitedly share out what we find. I am glad to share this place as a simple spot to just exchange a few moments together.

Connection leads to Wholeness.

Yet we have to pace ourselves in becoming whole. In fact, as a healer, I know a “secret” which many healers ignore. Finding or helping a person to wholeness too fast often leads to a person re-hurting themselves more, so they may keep the search moving along to pace to their larger life.

Timing is everything in the path of becoming whole.


It’s often a human state of mind to be in angst. Sometimes the angst is real, and sometimes the angst comes out from imagined problems.

Angst often comes out from unreconciled connections in our life. Angst is often a result of trying to become whole too fast. We feel angst when a connection doesn’t fit anymore in our life, or when we feel overly disconnected from something.

A more accurate way to think of angst is to imagine it as a splintering of our stories and soul.

Moments of great change such as midlife crisis or adolescence force a person to reconcile great differences in their lives. Refusing to move on or unwanted changes will drive a person to deep angst.  We change every seven years like clockwork, and many times the changes are too deep to just process in a few weeks or months. When a person refuses to accept part of their nature or history, it then splinters off to get buried as emotional trauma. The pain of feeling that splinter is angst.

In being human, we like to hold on to stories, even stories that are not true. So at times, the angst splinter isn’t even real.

The Buddhist approach to detach oneself is an effective method to deal with false angst splinters. However, I also don’t think the Buddhist approach is an absolute answer. Part of our very humanity is driven by holding stories, pondering, and driving yourself crazy in circles over all the possible maybes of being alive.

If you have a splinter in your foot:

Well then you have to examine it to remove it.

If you have no splinter:

Then why bother spending time examining your foot?

A Taoist will examine the stories in play, and if the story isn’t relevant, we release it, but when the story is important, then we work and polish out the angst.

Another approach to working with angst is soul work. Instead of removing the splinters of angst, we can work with them and heal the pieces of spirit that got disconnected from our main path of life. The process of our spirit and stories breaking off into splinters is called soul loss. When you work to reintegrate these soul splinters back into your life is called soul retrieval.

The Trap of Being Disconnected

Detachment (Non Attachment really) and Disconnected are not the same thing.

It’s all too easy to feel disconnected from oneself, to lose focus. In the chase of Non-Attachment, a person can push it too far to become disconnected from life.

It is all too easy to focus too deeply on the disconnected feeling and then push one’s souls further away from a personal center: like pushing a raft out to sea and then losing oneself in greater storms of the ocean of life.

We are mind, body, and spirit. This trinity requires always finding a balance between all three. It means playing; it means working out: keeping the body in shape; movement and joy to fill the spirit; poking around angles and depths to explore for the mind.

I help people step away from judgment, from false commitments, from possessions… But I also teach awareness and connection to our spark of life, the presence of wonder and joy in being one with a larger universe and yet also being distinctly alive and unique amid the clarity of all our potentials of our nature to be.

A core part of this practice is awareness and awareness is a step to a deeper connection to life itself.

So please never confuse feeling disconnected to the process of learning how to achieve clarity of nonattachment. If you feel disconnected, then take some time to be aware of your life and live if even for a second in a manner to more fully to connect back to your heart.

Explore Your Essence

Learn to trust your intuition.

Let go of judgments.

Remove conflict and anger

Be kind to yourself

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Hi Casey,
Been following you for about a year or so now and got the nudge to go back to the beginning and read everything. Loved this one! Feels very current for me as I have a few “splinters” that I aim to ignore and instead just detach and experience. Also noted that it was written almost 6 years ago to the day. Not sure if you read “old” remarks but thanks for your words!

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