Power represents the ability to define (& defend) oneself.
Power represents the ability to define (& defend) oneself.
That power comes out from how we act. To a Taoist, it becomes clear we should treat others with respect through kindness. That reflection of respect will have the power to allow others to treat us back with respect.
However, this isn’t a Taoist culture. Instead, it appears our current culture uses fear over respect. To live in fear based society is a culture of legalism, which was a particularly brutal time in China’s history.
In the United States, we now find police who taser grandmothers and school children. This is an abusive culture using fear to depower any threats to such a culture. The deeper problem isn’t about rogue policemen or politicians: it’s again, the deeper problem of society using fear as the source of power. History has already shown: this tact doesn’t work and leads to a corrupted culture.
Be aware, make your own choices, resist fear, and I wish each of you the best of life. Good Night and Good Luck and always remember to stand up for your truth.
The times are waking people up to be stronger. Let’s look at some angles in holding your power. Here are some lessons on how to hold and expand your power.
Be Patient Helping Others Be Brave
A hard challenge for a teacher or parent is being patient enough to let others discover their own words and action: so they can then make life their own.
As the challenges in life get harder ahead, be patient enough to let others find their own voice. This is a time of empowerment as each person learns how to chime in with additional solutions for helping our world. To push or help too much will shut down another person from finding their voice.
Protect each other: but give freedom to each person’s voice.
Life is to be lived, sometimes hesitating undercuts our power.
If you are not reaching to be more, to enjoy, and add in your energy to make life vibrant, then I must ask you why are you abusing yourself by limiting your own actions?
Yes abuse. However small it might be, all too many people are undercutting themselves. It’s time to get out of that habit.
Power is the capacity to define oneself, Abuse is when someone or something takes away your power.
Think about this seriously for a minute, it’s a minute that can change your life forever to be greater and more fully alive.
If you are not being brave enough to live fully, then ask yourself why are you limiting yourself and what fears are limiting you?
Isn’t it time to be brave by removing your limitations?
Pace Your Power
One danger a person faces in extreme times is exhaustion. After watching crazy, in-taking spun out of control media and intense, constant never ending attacks wears a person out. Likewise: Intolerance of others will further undercut a person. It takes large amounts of energy to always be on alert or to resist nagging attacks against life.
Standing to resist abuse / tyranny / prejudice will take a toll upon each person and society itself.
Holding freedom is all about knowing:
- When to stand up to act.
- When to assist others.
- How to find moments to recharge and rest.
As the times become more intense, the more a person will unconsciously tense up to resist. This natural behavior to protect oneself drains a person. Over time, being pushed into resistance all the time will push a person into numbness or shutting themselves down.
Working towards freedom has two sides.
- Standing up in your power.
- To rest & recover your power as you can.
Learn this back and forth pace within your actions towards maintaining personal power. It’s deeply important to include finding time to rest and for healing.
As you get better at standing up in your power, you will learn how to rest and keep a dash of awareness open so you can be proactive at the proper moments.
Be in Your Power: One Day at a Time
Life is a tapestry of interconnections: pulled together by your actions.
A person changes each day and each day we fit in anew to be ourselves.
This is the puzzle of living. Taoism gives a simple answer on how to piece it all together:
Don’t worry about the larger puzzle, just be your own shape.
This is one definition of acceptance. When embracing our shape in the puzzle called life. It’s a human misconception to believe we assemble the bigger picture. Instead, the point becomes the bigger puzzle will reshape itself to embrace you when you stand in true power. When society places pressures upon you to change it’s easy to give into fear and not stand up as ourselves.
* To get to the next place,
* In order to make it at work,
* To keep others happy,
* In order to get ahead
* Or make it to the next day just to survive.
In this rush to change everything: we might overlook and forget we are already there: already in one’s power. Instead of being the puzzle piece trying to fit into the larger picture. Stand up to make a difference and change the world to your image.
A Taoist embraces themselves fully, so that the firmness of self acceptance is enough to push society to accept them as is.
Here is a deeper spiritual truth. Within this post is the baseline for understanding the core of every mystical belief. Even when wrapped around layers and layers of other practices and ideas. If you know the core truth of acceptance, then you can understand and be part of any faith, any truth, that others put forth as the secret to life.
For instance: to take a quote from the Buddha:
“You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself”.
We are all on the same path. The difference is how we decide to walk the path to experience life. And then in our power: to become the path.
Sex, Power, Potential
When exploring power and potential, an interesting thing happens:
It stimulates your life from many different angles at once.
This can be confusing since many times, practices such as Qi-Gong or learning a new spiritual practice can also stimulate our sex drive. Likewise, when a person goes through a transformation such as a mid-life crisis, seeking sex with new partners is often part of the experience to explore the new potential.
The simple truth is this: our mind, body and spirit express potential in many forms. When you open up one potential you often end up stimulating multiple parts of your life at the same time.
The body very much uses sex as a statement of potential; the sexual drive is all about potential, about creating the potential for the next generation. So coming into power also often increases a person’s sex drive to become stronger.
As a result, when going through a mid-life crisis, or people come into power, people often have an affair or are tempted to have an affair since the affair gets mixed in (at times confused) as part of the larger transformation.
To give birth to oneself in a new form.
The body is trying to join in on the fun, is using the natural tools it has, to express potential in terms of sex.
So, as a result: when exploring transformation or your power, the one thing to understand, is to be careful not to confuse sexual attraction as part of the process of your growth.
It’s important to be able to separate the multiple aspects of power & potential to stay true to your larger nature, to be kind to yourself and those within your life.
Don’t get me wrong; at times, you just need some great sex and give in to everything at once! But more often the case: it’s kinder to one’s life to separate the different aspects of potential involved and to more finely control what potentials are most meaningful towards true growth and not get stuck in a worse situation.
Standing Up In Power
Standing up to be yourself isn’t easy.
As social beings, society thinks it has the final say in how you present yourself.
Speak up about something others don’t want to hear, and you will discover how quickly others will pull you down. Stand up to stand out, and cultural propriety will hammer you down to conform.
Fashion and fear are often stronger than virtue and personal values.
Let’s review some of the distinct ways people keep each other down. Depending on what is happening, you have different solutions in how to hold and stand true to yourself.
Resisting Peer Pressure
Social pressure is a difficult process to resist. You will find people slowly wearing you down to be in sync with the group view. Others will make you feel guilty for what you are doing. People will say little things to put you down. You will find yourself mocked or belittled by more senior level group members. You might find yourself excluded from conversations and connection from your peers. Humanity tends to be uncomfortable with nonconformity so this means to be unique is to also stand out alone for this reason.
Then the next step begins — the repeated group talk of a unified viewpoint.
After hearing something over and over again from many people, you will double check your views. Hear something enough from others that don’t match your opinion, and you will begin to doubt yourself. Then finally, you will begin to self edit yourself to match the group viewpoint.
The first lesson is this: Learn how to pick and choose what you stand up for. Don’t make everything a fight. If you make everything a fight in a group setting, you will never have any respite. You will be worn down by the group and have nothing left of your own opinion.
Learn not to share everything. Keep your more personal truths separate. Only share one divergent truth at a time, so you don’t get overly attacked from too many angles.
One example of this is when couples break up. Friends and family of the couple will exert social pressure to rebind two people together. Remember your relationship with another person isn’t based on a larger family. Your relationship is with the other person. Many relationships are held together with peer and social pressure. This is a terrible and slowly destructive style of relationship since it undercuts the needs of the two people for the benefits of a larger group.
Don’t expect other people to give you advice that will work for you. People give advice that would work for them (and not for you) most of the time. So be careful of given advice since it will often be mismatched for your situation.
Personal relationship problems are often best not shared except with friends who won’t judge you. Many bad relationships are kept together purely by social pressure!
Other factors that can come into play:
Experts will be brought in to undercut your opinion further. Experts who can add pressure to make one feel inferior and wrong by not matching to the expert viewpoints.
If you are going to stand out, know your facts. Understand the mainstream views. Know the difference between emotional truths compared to what you can validate and back up with facts.
Don’t make your process to be only emotional. The truth is you are only one person. One emotional person loses against ten united emotional people. Emotions are a glue that limits you down to only one story in life. We have many stories to explore in life. To be truly yourself means having the flexibility to change yourself to be better over time. Once you fall into an emotional argument, you cannot be flexible to avoid being tripped up by others. Yes, once in a while, emotions are great when stuck in the corner, but you can’t only rely on emotions.
Be careful about how you use social media. Social media is not a true reflection of you. For instance, your Facebook page isn’t you! It’s a public intersection for you and others. Making Facebook posts too private (sharing too many divergent views) becomes overly emotional and can end up in fights or defriending spats. The more outlandishly personal you make your Facebook posts or comments the faster you will push people away from your life. Be extra respectful of comments you place on other people’s posts, as most people are deeply emotionally entangled with what they write.
Written text/image based connections are very different than a traditional verbal relationship.
The fact is your Facebook page should be treated as a work of art or as your front lawn. Go through and delete posts which over time that don’t serve you. Keep it trimmed and clear so people can easily connect to you but not get a distorted image of you. Time changes perceptions. What we say verbally is not recorded but a written post will still be there and actually have different connotations a year from now. We change over time, so many times our older posts do need to be deleted to match up to our changing life. (I delete 1/3rd of my older posts once a year as a personal habit now.)
People will see what you post through the filter of their own emotions and this means it does distort their opinion and view of you.
This is true for any public portal such as linked-in or other resources. Make sure you what you present matches to how you want others to see you.
Don’t Try to Change Others
People will often try to change other people’s opinions to reinforce their individuality. This doesn’t work when all too many opinions are judgments.
The most famous example is talking politics. Politics are highly personal. Trying to change another person’s political view is pretty much assured to create conflict. If you talk or share politics then be ready to work with the emotional differences arising from the conversation.
For instance: Posting deeper political views on Facebook in an attempt to help others or change political view points can slowly isolate you from others. Political views are judgmental. So unless you are exceedingly careful, political posts do create tension and unnecessary conflict between you and Facebook friends. I have seen many people simply unfriend each other or zap each other into the public / don’t see zone with political discussions.
If you engage in a political dialogue, understand this:
You may speak your mind in public but it’s even easier to post your thoughts to the world today. You can stand up for your words as you are physically present when speaking them. It’s harder to back up your posts as you are far removed from the actual dialogue happening over the internet. Posting is not the same thing as speaking up. So understand the nuances of both styles of communication. Then pick and choose your statements carefully to be ones you can connect to and back up fully.
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A vampire is someone who steals your energy. Unfortunately, it’s easier to steal another person’s energy than to do your work. So this means you will encounter people who will try to get you to prop them up in life. Also, it means you will discover negative people who just take your energy away. Vampires will leech away your time and wear you down.
It’s hard to be yourself, when you are spending all your energy keeping someone else standing up.
Avoid vampires. You don’t have to worry much about vampires chasing you. By default, vampires tend to lack the energy to chase after you. They move on quickly to find other victims.
When you start to stand up, you create work for other people. You will discover people will hold you down, so they don’t have to work harder to comprehend your change. These are the naysayers in life. Once you are pulled back down, it takes even more energy to get back up.
A naysayer is a person who only says no without options for change. Criticism is not nay saying. Criticism is pointing out issues that can be improved upon in life. However, many people go beyond criticism and never give a hand or give any helpful advice. At that point, this isn’t a criticism but just old fashion nay-saying.
It’s acceptable for people to disagree and then give advice for improvement. But move on if a person only tells you “no” or it “can’t be done”.
Abusers are two steps worse than vampires. In addition to taking your energy, they will try to control and shape you. An abuser will use all these tricks mention here in this article and more to keep you under their heel.
There is no rational nor reliable way to bring an abuser to reason. They get their power and support from you. This means they will fight to the bitter end to keep your power away from you for their use. The only solution that reliably works in resisting an abuser is to walk away and start fresh. This isn’t easy because abusers, unlike vampires, will often chase you down.
Be careful about saving victims of abusers. Unless a victim is ready to leave, they often will defend their abuser as their power is wrapped around that abuser!
Resisting Saviors (Kings)
To be yourself means you don’t need saving. All too many people will try to shape you, to save you if you don’t fit theirs or society’s ideal.
Walk away from saviors; they are only trying to validate their agenda.