What is Kindness?
Kindness is to live to one’s essence.
The core of Taoism is about kindness.
The sage releases their own stories, while accepting the stories of others.
The sage is kind to the kind and also kind to the unkind: for virtue is holding to kindness.
Being as a child, within grace, when allowing ourselves to percieve and embrace essence without judgment.
Tao Te Ching, Chapter 49
Generally speaking, people actually rarely take the time to be kind to themselves in how they spend their life. Being kind means being equal in the transactions you do have for life’s balance sake.
The golden rule is a lifestyle choice to help people walk a kind path and balance out their actions. Most people know the golden rule like this:
Do unto others as you do unto yourself.
The question is, do you see how the golden rule can become unbalanced? Stated in this manner people often take the rule only to be nice to others. Let’s balance this statement out a bit:
Do unto others as you do unto yourself.
Do unto yourself as you do unto others.
You see while the first line could imply the second line, in the literal sense it is unbalanced, and people fall into the trap of only pushing kindness outward, So sadly many people miss that implication and then only push out kindness to others and forget to be kind to themselves!
When helping another person who has given too much, the first thing you must do is remind them to be kind to themselves. To show a person, it isn’t kind to give away too much if it means diminishing your essence in a way that later you cannot help another.
Kindness requires balance.
The Heart of Kindness is Simplicity.
Kindness can never be used to control others. Instead, leaders fall to the dark side and use unkind tactics for purposes of control. Hence, from politicians and pulpits, you will often find fear, conflict, forced conversion, segregation and other unkind tactics to force others to follow doctrine or laws. Such tactics are always self-defeating since in being unkind, they harm the very person inflicting them. Sadly this is only apparent in the long view of things, so patience tempers kindness.
- Ask yourself: Am I living kindly?
Do I treat others with Kindness?
That is, do I treat others as if they share the same essence of life as myself?
If not, then ask yourself why not?
- Examine any leader’s actions and ask are they Kind?
That is, do they treat others as equals?
If not, then ask them: why not?
Unkind acts are those actions trying to control something in an unbalanced manner. As a result, all unkind actions will always create unbalanced situations. If you are stuck, if you are trying to solve a problem that always seems to spin out of control, or if everything you try fails; then re-look at the problem and try instead to use kindness in how actions are applied.
Kindness is not: to always be nice.
Kindness is to treat everything with respect and as part of the same essence as yourself.
This is why applying kindness is such a difficult process to grasp. Kindness requires balanced actions. To always be perfectly nice is as unbalanced as always being terrible. In chasing stories, people seek intricate answers and drama.
In being human: it’s a personal choice if we make kindness complicated or simple. We are in awe of people like the Dali Lama because he chooses to make the process simple. But the real truth: it’s a personal choice. It’s in every person’s grasp to choose simple. So remember when you are tired of making life complicated, try * simple * for a change of pace.
What is Essence?
As kindness is the process of living in your essence, it now becomes essential to look at the meaning of our essence.
Essence Short Definition
For a person “essence” is:
- The core nature that makes each person, them!
- It’s your core aspect before the words even, before the stories.
We each have a spark of life: but that spark of life has a “core personality to it”, a “Style, ” and that is your essence.
Now essence as a term is overloaded and means several things at once so understand essence itself is a very relative word.
Essence Longer Definition
Some words are fractal; they mean seemingly different things depending on how you look at it. Each way of looking at the word in the end still is based on the same core truth.
Essence is one of these fractal words.
The inner definition of essence is: fundamental / core nature of something.
If you look at yourself as a human, well the essence of a human is their style, in how they hold their story. If you look at yourself regarding biology, then your essence is a collection cells & DNA and how they reproduce. If you look at yourself as the universe, then you quickly might see your essence as God.
Then there is the problem of labels! Labels, labels, labels. We slap labels on top of everything to muddle the damn definitions, to change them with that label… If you label yourself as Christian then seemingly you then see your essence as relative to “Christian” written ideals compared to a Hindu who would hold their essence as “Hindu” traditions. Labels seemingly change everything… So much so we fight wars over trying to common-“ize” these dang labels. Labels don’t make a difference since all labels are merely a story.
So true essence transcends a story.
When in Taoism we talk about True Essence this is in part what is referred to as being your fundamental nature and likewise your essence at a deeper core level. And then original essence hints at the core to the core, but if you think about it, it’s still fractal and all the same. Instead, we are talking about levels of perception now and how it plays out relative to how you ask the question “What is your essence?”
So many different ways of seeing the same thing. But it all seemly changes radically just depending on how you view it, hold it or play with it.
🙂 Our essence love it, explore it, play with it! Hold true to your style and don’t forget to embrace it as your essence.
How to Work with Unkindness
Right now, many people feel we are living in an unkind culture. People find their actions of kindness are lost to the greater greed of a Consumption based society.
So people look outward for saviors and hope
The truth is, we
- Don’t need new ideas how to save the day. Someone may come along to re-package old ideas in a new manner to start a movement, But the information needed is already at hand.
- Don’t need a person to save us.
In the end, we each save ourselves, if you have to follow another person to become yourself, then ironically chances are you aren’t truly living in your own heart.
We follow others not to discover our hearts; we follow others because we enjoy their company and have like-minded destinations to explore.
- Don’t wait for the government to change. We are the government; we don’t save the day only by voting. We save the day by including other actions and building a better place now. Let’s face it many of the laws of the last three decades have been laws imposed to limit people’s rights. We need normal individuals to get back into politics and remove special interests from the process. Will this be easy no, but it requires average people to step up, live and be active in their life, and for us all to start being involved in politics. Not only by voting for the parties or special groups but by being the ones to get voted in!!!
We need everyday people in government jobs to get brave enough not to fear to lose their jobs but rather doing their jobs for the people. Too many people work in government only for the job as salary rather than to live life in public service. I have worked in and for the government for many years. I’m not claiming high moral ground. I understand the problems a government worker faces, and sadly the system has evolved to force government workers not to be effective.This has to change. The only way it will change is if people stop complaining about government and get themselves involved at all levels to support the government processes. The United States is “We the people”. As long as “we the people” and “government” are at odds, then the government “Isn’t of the people”. It’s this polarization that opens the doorway for special interests to take control of the process.
We create relative to the reflection of our actions.
We receive what our actions reflect.
- Those living in conflict will inherit only ashes of the past
- Those supporting Big Business will primarily end up as cancer victims, as they reap the toxicity produced. Too many people have bought into the consumer model, and a large part of the price of that consumption is cancer, diabetes, depression, chronic fatigue and so many other diseases
As kindness represents our essence.
Then only kindness reflects back what we are without distortions!
People living to kindness will inherit a world worth living in since it will be a world:
of the people
for the people
by the people…
Living kindly isn’t idealism; it’s a reflection and how our actions reflect who we are in life.
Use this as a guide to help understand if you are helping things or making things worse. Then make life corrections accordingly if you want the world to be a better place.
If what you are doing is causing conflict or waste or illness in any manner then that’s the major clue you are not acting kindly nor truly compassionately.
It isn’t easy to act kindly. There is much we inherited that must be cleaned up and many mistakes we have made also. We seek shortcuts, and the truth is we must remove Judgment from how we measure kindness.
However, we each have an entire lifetime to practice it and get it right.
Being kind is doable if we just, do it.