Can you help my husband/wife in my relationship crisis?
This is one of the more common relationship questions we receive.
To ask for help for your husband or wife within a relationship crisis is to ask for help yourself in relationship crisis.
If the person you love is going through a midlife crisis, then also read more about helping your midlife partner change.
- A truth of help: You can help a person who asks directly for help, but rarely directly help those who don’t ask.
This means I help those who directly ask me for help but never a person who doesn’t directly ask for help. We help you instead to shift and find centering out of the chaos you are now within. Our process isn’t about marriage counseling. Instead, Julie and I are spiritual guides helping people discover kindness and how to resolve transformations peacefully. We can help you grow directly from issues being revealed by the relationship crisis at hand.
The process we use is to assist you, the person asking for help, build up inner strength and confidence so you can improve all aspects of your life.
- It’s always up to you to take control of what happens now.
If you do nothing, when having a relationship crisis: then the reflection of crisis defines you through the breaking of the relationship.
Rarely do people lead “happy” lives when letting crisis control their destiny. But this is a choice many people take. Instead, choose to control your destiny. We also have to keep in mind that the history of many families often cause individuals to play out more complicated journeys. So at times, people choose crisis as their path. We have to respect each person’s journey and what has happened up to this point.
- Everyone does have the option to work on themselves first before tackling a relationship crisis. Ironically, this can turn interpersonal earthquakes into personal transformation events to make life better!
Moving Past a Relationship Crisis
By helping the person who asks for help, we can help awaken a partner in crisis to also ask for help.
The first step in helping a partner is often helping you to grow, to become fuller, to renew your strength. Your growth is their growth.
The harder truth is: sometimes by growing so much; a person may not choose to not take the partner back, because of the opening into a new life which is better. Some people don’t tackle personal problems because deep down inside they fear, the best and most graceful answer might be to leave the relationship. This is also why at times a co-dependent partner will try to talk you out of help to prevent you from leaving.
In all cases, helping the person who first asks for help to find new strength: is the most spiritual and graceful path ahead of resolving a relationship crisis.
The simple truth is this:
If you want to keep a partner, you have to be willing to accept and let them go fully now. Look into your heart, learn from the mistakes made, making corrections, so the relationship more closely follows to each person instead of outside ideals.
Some people don’t seek help: they value relationship more than their happiness: unconsciously knowing to be personally whole might let the relationship be over.
Don’t try to find wholeness within a broken relationship, instead start personally looking to your own core self.
We teach the person asking for help since by asking for help, you have stepped up and are now ready to work on your side of change. In this manner we know for sure our process will help you find wholeness. This is the seed starting to make a larger difference and then in time these teachings improve, repair and lead to fuller relationships.
Things don’t magically become easy. Yet Julie and I know from experience: those who accept their heart always grow to live fuller lives. It’s a most amazing path to explore and this path of kindness is our personal choice how to teach and show others how to resolve relationship crisis.
Release is the key to unfolding into true relationship.
Release is accepting and moving with heart.
To do this means releasing your own heart to also be free.
We work over the phone and also offer couple retreats!
Additional Relationship Questions
Here are some answers to common relationship questions.
How can I create a Lasting Relationship?
The simple answer is having respect, kindness and seeing yourpartner as being unique in life.
My partner has a problem. How do I fix it?
Don’t make a relationship be about problems!
To push a problem into a relationship is to inject the very thing that will break up the relationship later. This doesn’t mean you can’t share problems with your partner. Share away. Rather, this means you don’t project your issues, insecurity or current challenge into defining the relationship itself.
All too often I get the “Help me because they did this!!!” question.
Help me! He left me for another woman. Help me! She is acting like a child… HELP me THEY… they they They!
It isn’t about “They” or “Them”
If this is you. (sorry to label you in a general pronoun sense) Then read on.
Your problem now has nothing to do with Them, It has everything to do with you.
You are making it about them since they started the ball rolling and have defined the problem you must face: How do I now live?
Don’t you see the switch that happened when you allowed yourself to be defined by this other person? The situation has nothing to do about them: the problem is now all about how you will live from this point on! So while you are focusing on what initially caused the problem, you’re also busily and actively now ignoring your own life. The real question has only the word “I” in it no “them, him or her” in it at all. So how will you now live?
Look closely “They left me, should I wait?” -> is really -> “I am alone what should I do?”
Almost every question of this style of expression flips into being: “What should I do now?”
Ask yourself can I survive on just waiting. Ask yourself if this really is about them? The answer is no. NO! As you wait, as you linger, as you push out the problem to them, you slowly undercut and destroy your own life also.
Move ahead with living. They can always decide to catch back up later, but you can’t live in “later”. You have to live in the “here and now”.
So live. It has nothing to do with waiting: it has everything to do with living.
A little help goes a long way in solving relationship problems.
I have been with my partner for Years.
How do I bring them back?
The simple answer is to change how you focus your measure of relationship success.
People confuse connection and attachment to be the same thing. When you talk about your relationship regarding how long you have been in it: then there is an attachment problem. The prize isn’t there for how long you were in a relationship. The prize is ongoing and is about being connected in the here and now. The degree of success can be measured by how well you keep a relationship invigorated and fresh for your future.
Don’t maintain a relationship out of habit or for attachments towards the past and other illusions. To do so, just puts energy into a negative relationship that over time, lashes out, breaks and causes pain.
Relationships should be based on a positive connection. Where each person helps the other person become more (not a one-sided relationship).
- It isn’t the relationship we place into the heart
(to do so forces the relationship to become an attachment and forces your heart to break over time as your shapes change).
Place connection within the heart. That way, no matter how much time passes, no matter how many years apart or how you each drift… the connection can stay pure and true… and your relationships will always be timeless