Affairs are a part of life. While in an ideal world we wouldn’t need to worry about having an affair, the world is far from ideal.
Many times, we are not in a perfect relationship. We might love a person, but love isn’t always enough to stop a person from having an affair. At times we encounter another person who has such deep chemistry with us, we cannot resist temptation. Other times, over time, changes between you and your partner cause you to need space or even the need for help from another person.
This article will not justify affairs, nor condemn them. Instead, it’s important to accept that affairs can happen and if it does happen to you, how to then work with the situation to find a graceful answer. This article is written to help the person in the affair. If you are the partner, then start with this article for partners of affairs. The advice changes depending on timing and which side of the affair you are within. Many people try to solve affairs by bringing both partners back together too fast, while the relationship is critically fragile. The first step is triage (heal critical problems first) and helping each partner resolve out fears and communication problems, to be able to have a truly healing dialogue later.
If you come to me for help, I will never judge you, the situation or destination. I will work towards helping you find the best answers. I have seen every combination of results. I know that many times the path towards a good future can be twisted and strange. Due to the intense emotions involved in affairs, the path is never simple, and each case is unique.
We can break down affairs into four different stages to consider:
- Pre Affair
- During the affair
- Your partner discovers the affair
- The affair becomes public
Let’s look at each case separately.