They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.
Oscar Wilde had a very Taoist attitude when it came to relationships. Sustainable love isn’t a myth, it is just misnamed, for love & romance to be sustainable it must constantly change to grow with those involved. The real issue isn’t in the love nor romance; it’s in how people try to define forever that is the real issue.
People think forever, is to be unchanging. To be unchanging is to break, is to wear down to nothing trying to hold onto what was.
Most lovers try to balance out their relationships based on outside benchmarks rather than their center. Basing love and romance only upon someone else’s outstretched arms is genuinely an unstable relationship. As Yeats says
“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold… “
Romance is all about two people coming to terms with each other. Romance goes stale when two people stay the same. Now when you base love upon the nature of change, to create an ever-changing love. This then establishes a baseline that you and your partner do shift, which then leads to always renewing the romance, a romance that can last upon a center. Something that isn’t locked into a chest but instead connected handily together with awareness instead.
I love the Oscar Wilde quote because his quote is 100% true when people try to make forever, to only be the same thing…! That becomes the same olde same olde before you know it. So sad, but it seems most people prefer tragic love that is always fleeting over true love that is always changing. People desire a romance that connects them to new faces rather than trying to see a partner in a new light. All because we are seeking change as part of our nature. So let romance and love truly change with time, allowing your partner to dance with you against change over a lifetime. Learn to understand the difference, and you will discover lasting love and a kaleidoscopic romance that stays strong with your relationship over time.
Discover you don’t have to be alone, in figuring out how to improve your relationship.