They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.
A Lasting Love
Oscar Wilde had a very Taoist attitude when it came to relationships. Sustainable love isn’t a myth, it is just misnamed, for love & romance to be sustainable it must constantly change to grow with those involved. The real issue isn’t in the love nor romance; it’s in how people try to define forever that is the real issue.
People think forever, is to be unchanging. To be unchanging is to break, is to wear down to nothing trying to hold onto what was.
Most lovers try to balance out their relationships based on outside benchmarks rather than their center. Basing love and romance only upon someone else’s outstretched arms is genuinely an unstable relationship. As Yeats says
“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold… “
Romance is all about two people coming to terms with each other. Romance goes stale when two people stay the same. Now when you base love upon the nature of change, to create an ever-changing love. This then establishes a baseline that you and your partner do shift, which then leads to always renewing the romance, a romance that can last upon a center. Something that isn’t locked into a chest but instead connected handily together with awareness instead.
I love the Oscar Wilde quote because his quote is 100% true when people try to make forever, to only be the same thing…! That becomes the same olde same olde before you know it. So sad, but it seems most people prefer a tragic love that is always fleeting over true love that is always changing. People desire a romance that connects them to new faces rather than trying to see a partner in a new light. All because we are seeking change as part of our nature. So let romance and love truly change with time, allowing your partner to dance with you against change over a lifetime. Learn to understand the difference, and you will discover lasting love and a kaleidoscopic romance that stays strong with your relationship over time.
A Lasting Relationship
Don’t ask how long a relationship will last. Whenever feeling this question, instead switch it around to ask how to add joy, peace, or connection to the day. For some, this will save a relationship for some, it will lead to release. For all, it will help you have a better day and life.
A relationship isn’t about how long it lasts; it’s about how you help each other in each shared moment of life.
- Never be afraid to release a relationship that takes away your power.
- Never be afraid to invest in a relationship that helps you grow.
- Never hold on to a person who isn’t growing.
- Never hold yourself back from joy and exploring life.
A relationship is about sharing the journey. As long it’s about this, it will move on to the next day. Ironically if you only make it about lasting, then it is over before it even began
Discover you don’t have to be alone, in figuring out how to improve your relationship. We can help you balance out your relationship.
Depths of Relationship
As long as I have been exploring my relationships and understanding the truth: I have discovered these are each never-ending processes. Each day just opens up more: to see and embrace my relationships and life with Kindness / Compassion ever deeper. The heart is a bottomless topic that reaches as far as one can push for in life.
We need kind relationships which go beyond a single definition of what we can be. In many things, including relationships, we try to define and limit what we hold. A relationship is something which in reality does go far beyond what we can hold. The depths of what two people can be together compared to their thoughts of what they are together are usually very different.
The mind thinks: Sure, yes, I know there is more. The rational mind thinks it can see the depths of passion or finely determine the size and shape of a relationship.
The mind approaches this process by thinking it’s like a clear pool. The mind imagines the current bottom 20 feet away and then says: “I can see the bottom, what’s the big deal; it’s only 20 feet deep.”
The mind stops thinking when it hears words like “heart”: stops at the words it can’t define with a ruler and then sticks to what it first imagines. The mind limits concepts like love and relationships to be based on simple stories rather than allowing them to flow and expand relative to their complexities.
This is where the mind gets it all wrong.
You dive into the clear pool of passion and reach that initial bottom 20 feet away to enjoy. Then in that moment you rediscover each day that this bottom isn’t a bottom at all but rather a starting baseline of your relationship. That baseline continues further to be one of countless more. It just goes further and opens up to so many more opportunities to embrace and play through.
It becomes a process of enjoying the exploration. I feel speechless in the warmth I find from this. This is a wordless truth of a deeper soul-based relationship that a true relationship is ever evolving and changing.
A non-relationship side note in this logical spiritual chain of thought:
Until modern society stops thinking in the rational mindset Where it sees a pool at only 20 feet deep rather than accepting the deeper spiritual truths of having more to explore. It will strip away the world to that bottom line it sees. Never to realize there is so much more beyond, which was all dependent on that first layer of 20 feet being there in the first place.
Karma and Relationships
A karmic relationship will never be a lasting relationship!
When dealing with Karmic issues, people often forget kindness. People will try to force a relationship only because of a karmic bond. It is a common trap people fall into thinking that a karmic connection should be a deep, romantic relationship that transcends time.
While a Karmic relationship transcends time: it also usually shouldn’t end up in a romantic relationship: instead the connection more times than not: means working with each other in kindness, to help each other resolve problems and work towards a more peaceful acceptance of life itself.
Karmic relationships are so powerful that as a relationship, people assume that it should follow a traditional romantic path. You feel an attraction, and the attraction is so powerful that it can easily be mistaken for a romantic relationship.
Any relationship that becomes Karmic means a deeper lesson exists to be learned between two people. That to learn this lesson, kindness is required to help each person work towards resolution of answers. Unkind actions just push the lesson out to go further down the Karmic chain of resolution. Kinder actions help work towards acceptance and understanding.
A karmic relationship isn’t about lasting forever; it’s about learning a lesson so two people can move on in life to better relationships!